A Handy List

I am often asked what makes a person or group of people insignificant, and so in the interest of clarity have decided to publish this handy list. If ever throughout this process you begin to wonder whether or not you are insignificant, ask yourself these simple questions:

-Are you a red state?
-A caucus state?
-Illinois?
-Do you live in a red state, caucus state, or Illinois?
-Are you Bill Richardson?
-Are you Ted Kennedy?
-Are you an African-American living in an urban area?
-Do you attend college?
-Are you a poll showing Obama to be ahead?
-Are you the will of the voters of 30 states?
-Do you like good speeches?
-Do you believe in proportional representation?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then I am aggrieved to report that you are, if not completely, then at the very least, extremely insignificant.

If, however, you find yourself to be significant at this time, please keep checking back to this site to determine whether or not you may, in the future, become insignificant. As this process continues, I can only assume to discover that more and more people whom I originally believed to be significant will become, sadly and irrevocably, insignificant.

Best regards,

Mark Penn